时时彩平台-我找到时时彩漏洞了-时时彩每天赢钱的方法

幽默笑话 [关于幽默的英文笑话阅读]

来源:图像动画 发布时间:2019-08-04 04:45:38 点击:

  冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象。冷笑话不同于一般笑话,它以其独特的制笑机制,能瞬间创造出一种特殊的氛围。小编精心收集了关于幽默的英文笑话,供大家欣赏学习!

关于幽默的英文笑话阅读

  关于幽默的英文笑话:Blonde Date

  A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.

  ''NO!'' yelled the blonde.

  The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again

  ''NO!'' the blonde yelled again.

  Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

  ''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy.

  ''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde.

  Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?''

  The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''

  关于幽默的英文笑话:Hussein And Bush

  Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.

  Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.

  But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"

  A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin talking and Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. George snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.

  When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.

  "Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"

  Bush says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"

  关于幽默的英文笑话:Smart Guy

  A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.

  "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"

  "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."

  "You sell them here?" the customer asks.

  "Only $5 each," says Green.

  The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

  "You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.

  "Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"

  "You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."

  关于幽默的英文笑话:Burned Grandad

  A seven year-old turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher:

  Teacher: Morning Tommy, and why weren't you at school yesterday?

  Tommy: Well Miss, my Grandad got burnt.

  Teacher: Oh Dear, he wasn't too badly hurt I hope?

  Tommy: Oh yes Miss, they don't fuck around at those crematoriums.

  关于幽默的英文笑话:A Poor Choice Of Snack

  Two tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one to the rear reached out with his tongue, and licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled front tiger turned and said, "Cut it out." The rear tiger apologized, and they continued onward.

  About five minutes later, it happened again. The front tiger turned, growling, "I said stop it." The rear tiger again apologized, and they continued.

  Another five minutes passed, and again the front tiger felt the unwanted tongue. The front tiger turned, giving the rear tiger a ferocious glare, angrily hissing, "What is it with you?"

  The rear tiger replied, "I'm sorry -- I really didn't mean to offend you. But I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

  
看了“关于幽默的英文笑话”的人还看了:

1.最搞笑的英语小笑话十则

2.关于爆笑的英文笑话阅读

3.经典幽默英语小故事阅读

4.英式幽默笑话英文版阅读

5.关于中英文小笑话阅读

推荐访问:英语笑话 关于幽默的英文笑话阅读 英文幽默小笑话 幽默笑话英文版
上一篇:茶圣陆羽 茶圣陆羽的人物生平经历
下一篇:最后一页

Copyright @ 2013 - 2018 时时彩平台-我找到时时彩漏洞了-时时彩每天赢钱的方法 All Rights Reserved

时时彩平台-我找到时时彩漏洞了-时时彩每天赢钱的方法 版权所有 湘ICP备11019447号-75

Baidu
sogou